The Funny Farm

Hmmm... Where to start? OK, after my last post my boyfriend's "wife" dropped off their son totally by surprise and said... here you go, fix him. Yes, you heard me right.... still married. He was separated 3 years when we got together and we've been together for over 3 years so add it up. It's completely ridiculous and I'm way over it. Our relationship was already REALLY bad (I'd been considering dumping him since 2 months after we got together) and now with his almost 13 year-old son here, it's even worse. I feel like I'm in an insane asylum with no way to escape. My daughter and I are both miserable but have no clue how to get out of it. Financially I'm screwed until my house sells. It's been up for 3 months and I've only had 3 couples look at it.

In my new spiritual birth I feel this relationship is UN-Godly. The more I learn about the Bible, the dirtier I feel about staying in this relationship. I know the Bible says "God will provide". I know I should trust that God will give me what I need. I know I should ask Kenny and his son to leave. Even though I believe it... even though I desperately need it... I am truly paralyzed with fear and I don't know why. A day falls into a week into a month into a year. I feel like this one sin is causing everything to get worse and worse... like God is letting it spiral into a domino effect until I throw up my hands and completely trust in Him. I know it sounds crazy but I don't want to live with a man that I am not married to any longer. My new self doesn't believe in the things I used to. LORD, please give me the courage to do what I know is right in your eyes. Amen.